13.08.13

Well.. this year have been happened a lots unhappy things on me..
Relationship..Friendship..
Talked people behind really not a good thing..
I talked my friend behind.. but she did  alots things making me unhappy..
and i no told her she did what thing make me unhappy..
I did not tell her everything that she did on me at all..
i just hope she will understand by self and one day...
But nobody understand...

Sometimes really hard to believe on everyone...
I just treasure when this second who treat me great then
i just treat back she/he as good as she/he treat me...
I really dont knw wanna how .. People only will like me ...
And how people only will stopped to betray me.. and talk my bad behind...
maybe this is life a way that make we grow up..

I really realise now.. no one will understand your feeling..
No one will believe you and help you when u getting problems..
when u getting problemss.. solve by self and think by self...
Cant cry when facing problems.. cause will let people said that you're
too fake...
Strated from now... i'm very scary for trusting everyone..
i hate my self.... i really dun knw wanna how...

Before though got a boyfriend very good..cause can share sad thing
, unhappy thing with he...
but is myself broke this relationship.... but nobody understand why i did
and why i have this decision...even my friend...
i lost myself...i lost my friend...
Being a manusia really hard.... no way who call me is a manusia now...

Before still very trusted a guy.. he call panda..
i very trusted he will help me keep every secrect .. that i told he before...
i said my friend bad to he... he told it back to my friend...
And me and my friend argue awhile.. i not sure is zit
he told my friend that before i said her bad...
but my friend come asked me today...
When i listened she asked me .. i very disappointed on panda...

Secrect is forever wont told us...
but thing already happened.. and alwys happenede dy.. false also me...
i really disappointed when everyone that i very very trusted...
maybe myself also got false... i also dun knw hw to become a people...
i just hope someone will understand me and care me...
it sit hard...
and i also no blame pandaaa.. if really he told my friend
i said my friend bad before...

Cause my friend also got said my bad,,,
well... i really dont understand everytime i very becareful keep
told self dont get wrong at every steps buat at last awlys my false
NO REASON , and FALSE ALWYS ME...
i felt very not fair... i just needed a simple life....
but everythings make me so difficult and keep make me on sad way...

Now... being lonely and alone alwys...
I stay strong that nobody care...i cry just because i stay strong till cant do it...
but also gave ppl said i'm just keep act cry for ppl care...
Primary school i very liked to cry.. even a little things hurt i also cry...
so ppl also through i'm act ppl to care me...
Actually i'm not.... but said out who knw who will listen i said..
who will trust... only self understand onle self knew...

so when primary i really dont have childhood...
sometimes ppl said back their primary things... i also felt like not really
wanna said out my story... i scared they said i'm act agn....
Dun knw why i no act... ppl just keep saying i'm act...
maybe my life way is not so easy to be live one this world....
Sometimes really hope i die on accident.. then i can
become a new me... and everythings started agn....

Strated from now... i really dun knw what to do...
Just being alone.. lonely way..
and nobody care what i do....
nothing muchhh to said anymore...... till here..